Thursday, 11 February 2016

Responsible Children= Responsible Citizens!!!

Hi dear parents,

                   Yesterday only, I read an article about the children's miss behaviour or we can say the neglecting attitude towards anything....whether it's about disobeying parents, or neglecting their own things like study, health, etc.
                    Many of us, do always complaint that, their children are not doing their study or not respecting the parents....my simple question to parents is that 'Do you respect Your parents? Do you complete your job on time? Did you ever notice that your children must be watching or I may say observing your actions?' And if so then you have no chance to tell them to follow the same for you. It may be harsh but true.
                      E.g.  Mother asks her boy to bring grandmother's medicine while coming back from school. The reply was," Mom please don't ask me such things to do, you can go and get it. I will be coming late."
This is how our responces are. Now a days even a small child has an ego problem. Why it's so? Just think over it....Are you the cause of it? Ok let me explain how parents are promoting this kind of attitude in children ( I am not saying that all the parents are behaving like this. It's for those parents who uncautiously make it happen).
                    Carring is the parents right but, overcarring sometimes hamper the child's growth. 1) Starting from their childhood we have to make them involve in the day to day work... I said 'only involve' this doesn't mean that you should do every job with their help.
2) By making them understand, how the things in the house work? And if mother or father is not at home then how they have to play their part?
3) Give them some money and tell them to get some things from the grocery shop. Observe their practical knowledge, correct them if necessary.
4) Teach them the advantage of sharing the things amoungs themselves or with the neighbours.
5) Tell them how important they are as a family member. Make them aware of their responsibilities.
6) For all the above things to work, you yourself must be cautious enough to play your part the best.
7) And the most important thing, appreciate them whatever good that are doing, to the society or to themselves...this is very important because this will encourage them to do more and more.

                  There are lot of things you can do for the betterment of your child...I have listed only few of them. Remember if every parent nurtur their child in a good, socialistic manner, then you are contributing in building a strong and responsible new generation.

                   If you think to add some more things and want to suggest me something please comment.
Thank you.

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Child Abuse. ....Please save your children!!!

Hi dear parents,

                       This article will give you an INSIGHT on the cases of child abuse.... Did you noticed that some times your children keep a distance from something like any person or anything like a programme on T. V., classes, tution etc. Is there a change in behavior if they come in front of some one....I am talking a change like looking down, keeping a distance from someone, fear of something. Then there may be a chance of threat to them from that person. That person could be anyone from your room servant, the tutor coming to take home tuitions, the teacher in the school, the rikshow or school bus driver, etc.
                       There are many cases of this which has harmed children mentality, emotionally of persuing things. When they get wrong interpretation of something, they used to avoid that thing and the things similar to it. This may hamper their growth emotionally, physically and sexually. As a result the children who were good at something earlier, are not responding that thing now, or are running away from that thing..... Are you getting my point?

                       The best way to elaborate what I want to tell is the situation in the movie ' Tare Jamin Par'. How to handle such situations?.... I am suggesting some of the ways, if you have also dealt with same situation then please mention it in the comment bellow.

1) Avoid denial and remain calm:- A comman reaction  to child abuse is shocking and denial. However if you show denial then the child will find it difficult to continue and will shut down. Please be as calm and reassuring  as you can.
2) Don't interrogate :- Let the child explain you in his or her own words, what happened, don't  interrogate or ask leading questions.
3) Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong :- It takes courage for a child to come for word and report about abuse. Reassure him or her that you take what is said seriously, and it's not a child's fault.
4) Safety comes first:- If it seems that your safety or the child's safety  is under stake, then leave the matter to the professionals.

                 I have seen some parents who unknowingly impose their abusive  behavior on their child. Remember  you are the most important person in your child's world. It's worth the effort to make a change, if you have done something that had hurt your child emotionally, physically or sexually.

Change your reactions :- 

1) Learn what is age appropriate  and what is not. Having realistic expectations of what children  can handle at certain age will help to avoid frustration. For example, children  don't have the tendency  to sit quiet. They will surely mess up the things. Take it for granted.
2) Develope new parenting techniques. Parenting books, seminars, classes are there to help you.
3) Take care of yourself.  If you are getting  tried due to workload then keep yourself  calm or otherwise  the victims of your frustration are your children and the family members. Doing yoga and going for a healthy walk with your family  can make a change.

                        Child abuse is not up to your children, there are lots of children in the world who are deprived of their childhood and beautiful emotions. This is my small effort in stopping  it. THINK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THEM.....


Thank you.
Post your replies. 

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Does The Technology HARMING the Children??

Hi curious parents,
               
                   Yesterday I went to my friend's house. We were meeting after a long time. While we were talking about our past days and fun we had, his kid.. very curious and little naughty, was disturbing us. He done a magic trick, that usually most of us do. He just switch on his mobile and gave it to the kid. The kid was soo happy as if he got Alladin's Chirag...and was busy until we finished. Though that MAGIC kept the kid engaged...it doesn't seem fair to me...
               I have seen people dipping their head into the mobile, I am not an exception to this. But sometime its necessary to see what's happening around us. As an intelligent parent, you might be aware of the damage caused by mobile to heart, brain and specially to the eyes. I am not talking only about mobiles, the T.V. has the similar effects. And offcource how can I forget another IDIOT BOX..."computer ". I have observed kids while watching T. V...they even forget to blink!! and the parents think that, How enthusiastic their child is?
               You must be asking then HOW TO MAKE CHILDREN ENGAGED?....Here I give you some TIPS.

1) First and very essential thing...DON'T TELL YOUR CHILD that mobile or other gadgets are NOT GOOD OR BAD...I am deliberately writing in capitals. Remember the Golden Rule...When you tell them NOT TO DO SOMETHING, they will surely do it. You might have tested this. So instead tell them to do other things..like SOLVING RUBICS CUBE, PUZZELS, DRAWING SOMETHING.

2) There are good games available in the market like Legos, making planes from different parts of it. One very interesting is the colour full clay. Make the wayfor their imaginations.

3) Its the second Golden Rule...APPRECIATE THEM when they come with anything solved or made...What important discussion is going on , please let them feel that they are more important to you. You can also show it to your friends or colleagues.

4) what if they come and disturb you againg and again? No problem, as a child its their nature. So let it be. If you really dont want to get disturbed then, take a pause and tell your kid that its very important to you and you will surely come to him or her after you finished. I am quite sure that they will  understand you and will not disturb. DONT EVER THINK THAT THEY ARE NOT MATURED. Its proven fact that when you put any responsibility on children they do it most sincerely. You can test it..

5) About COMPUTERS...its most important that THE COMPUTER MUST BE KEPT IN THE LIVING ROOM OR THE COMMAN ROOM. By doing this you can stop lots of disastrous effect of Internet on your kid. I must suggest INSTEAD OF TELLING THEM to search something on internet, TELL THEM TO FIND IT THROUGH BOOKS. This way they can develop a good habbit of reading. It has been seen that the stuff on internet is NOT SO RELIABLE. Books will give them interlinked knowledge.... The pre condition for this method is YOU SHOULD KNOW WHICH BOOK CONTAIN WHAT?....So start reading and enhance your knowledge first, then you will be A RESOURSEFULL PARENT.

6) I have seen that in keeping them busy, parents arrange lot of coaching classes for their children. Do you want a LIVING HUMAN BEAING or A ROBOT? The movie Chiller Party has shown this very interestingly.

                     You have heard about SHANTINIKETAN....its a school started by Ravindranath Tagor. One day as usual school was about to start. Tagor was sitting under tree, waiting for atudents to assembke. All the children were playing around. Somebody was climbing on tree, some are smelling the flowers, some are playing hide and sik..but 4 students were sitting their head dipped into the books. One enthusiastic parent came and asked Tagor that, "Are you not serious about the future of those children playing there?" Tagor replied with smile," I am more worried about theae four children. How can they cope up with the real situation in future. They are behaving as matured persons. Even I am not so matured. I also want to climb on trees but my body doesn't allow me to do so."

           NATURE itself is a GREAT TEACHER. Let your child experience it.

Thnak you,

Sorry for not posting......

Hellow there,
 
                  I apologise for not adding to your knowledge....A BIG sorry for that. I had an exam which is very important to me, so I was busy in that...Anyways its over and I am againg at your service, DEAR PARENTS.
                  I will post some NEW THINGS which I have been observing and I am sure that you have also been through the same situations....So folks stay with me right here.

            One request....Please give me your feed back so that I can understand that the massage I want to give you, is making atleast some impact....

Thnak you.
Reguards

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Living....Child-Free!!!

Hi all energetic, enthusiastic, loving and caring.. Parents.
           From the title of this post, you might think that you have visited some other blog..hold on its the same blog and same me. Yesterday I have came across a beautiful article in The Hindu Sunday magazine, 'Footloose and fancy free' by Gauri Dange. It's about living child-free life by choice. This culture is now-a-days becoming very common, specially in urban, capitalist intelligencia... I was thinking why people choose not to have a child?..and therefore I found this article very useful to convey my massage to you all....
             Let me clear you all one thing that I am against this culture. Our beautiful country has a long tradition of considering children as a GOD'S GIFT...when we were unknown of the future... As we know I past peopel had 5 or some time more children...and we might have heard the bed time stories about a king who had 4 wives. Prior to the Family planning era...peopel raised their children, thinking them as the support for their old age. And off course the children were also that much matured to understand how the things are working and how their parents had nurtured them. So they had the feeling of 'debt of love' and a great respect for their parents which encourage them not to hurt their parents..I think you might have gone through the same fase.
                We became the one of the most populous countries. Industrialization has turned the wheels of our life and life became so fast that now it seems that it's running as if the breakers are failed...and to save ourselves, we, instaid of jumping aside...continually giving a direction to the break failed life...Where we will land up or I might say, end up then?..no one knows!!! In this struggle for existence the God's Gifts were neglected, in such away that sometimes we think that "it's better not to have a child!!"...
                I want to ask that "Does not having child will solve all the problems???.." What if your parents have taken a decision of not having you?.. This is my personal opinion that, the PARENTS choosing not have a child want to get rid of their duty...not want to Waste their precious time and money as well on the very minute and useless things. But I have seen them enjoying with their friends children..a slightest thought of loosing something might not allowed them to sleep at many nights.
                 And what about the other partner...if he or she want to enjoy the parenthood..why should they share the burden of the other partner?... He or she might not tell you and compromise with you for the sake of your satisfaction and love. It will hurt you more when you see the hidden affection towards children in them while paying with children of others. I have read another article in Marathi newspaper supplement, in which the writer had portrayed the future of ours..when the things get advanced...when there will be the technology of postponing the delivery...parents will sacrifice their children future for their exciting job opportunities... When there will be deep sleep boxes..parents will keep their Young ones in it, because there will not be Dada-Dadi to take care off them...And after the planned retirements they will spend their life with their child at the age of 80.
               My purpose of writing this bolg will be in vain if I do not help you by telling the way out...there are lot more people who are experts..I am sharing what I feel about this...First thing having a child at the right stage of your life is very important. And you should be confident that you will take great care of them..I am totally agreed that in this metro life its little diffult, but at least we can try...don't loose the hope..Don't think that how am I going to fulfill their demands and expenses?..Have faith in you..if a poorest person living in a bit can do it then why not you?..We have plenty of examples of IAS, IPS who came from worst backgrounds..Second thing..I have seen..children are the energy, hope and encouragement of the parents, please don't loose it. They are the one who shape your world, they are the one who really care for you...PROVIDED THAT you have nurtured them well.
               It's very common..and I don't have to tell you that.."children copy their parents"..They want to become like them...if you behave rudely with your parents or if you disobey them, they will surely do the same thing with you...because they copy you...if you smoke the will too...if you quarrel and use bad words against your partner..they will do the same...And this time you DONT HAVE THE RIGHT to tell them that THIS IS WRONG. So be cautious if you want your child to be the best...you must become best..
                 To have a child or not is your personal opinion... We have also seen number of children in the ANATH ASHRAM...waiting to get adopted...

Thank you,
Worm regards..

Friday, 21 August 2015

Child Pornography

Hi,
My first topic of discussion is "child pornography"...
          This is the stringent topic...and many of the PARENTS even don't want to discuss such topic with their children... The first thing that hit our mind is...FROM WHERE TO START ?...Dear parents...most of u wl b surprised to know that one of friends, who s teaching in a primary school, has confronted a situation where a child ws complaining about his friend...that he is talking about the nudidity and sex, which he has seen on mobile...and these children were from THIRD standard...
             And this is more surprising to know that....from where he found that video or pictures was...his parent's mobile...My friend told this to her senior... And what they do is to scold the child and worn him nt to do it again...I think this is my the right way to resolve this problem...
             Firstly the teacher should make a good conversation with the child...asking him skillfully from where he or she get or watched such things?...is there someone who is promoting them to watch it?...try to make him or her comfortable...and plz do not scold or shout at them...The very common observation is that when we oppose the children from doing something which is bad...the children knowingly do the thing to see what happens...so plz do not scold...the best way out is to divert his or her curiosity towords the science behind that thing...
        There is a need of SEX EDUCATION in India...and I think there is no restriction of age in doing this...what we generally think is that our children will not understand this or they are not able to know such things....and we destroy their curiosity and this gives rise to the Devil instinct of finding wt the parents or elders are hiding from ous...
            Teacher, after such incidents, must keep attention on the child and try to analyse that...have he or she still pursuing the same things...that too nt by spying kind of thing...you cn make a healthy conversation with them and cn take out the things they hiding...
              The most important task is of PARENTS... Wt u have to do is....first of all clear your mind set that your child cn nt do such things....this wl hurt u more...plz be prepare to face any situation... Dnt respond such situations aggressively... Try to understand your child's psychology... As I have told earlier..if u scold them the wl surely try to chase the same thing....so be relax...try to make the child comfortable... This is very important.. Take him or her to home...or a peaceful place n discuss with him what he has seen?..where he get those things?...is there someone who is showing that things to them forcefully or for the sake of joy...?...plz try to figure out this things...after all u know your child better...and must behave very carefully with him or her in this situation...
           Remember if u scold or shout or beat him or her...u wl create a permanent barrier between your child's thoughts and yourself... Let him or her speek...let them free their inner emotions....plz listen them carefully... Unless u wl nt do this...u wl never ever b able to solve this problem...
            This is wt I have seen and observed...plz share your views and problems you are facing in doing away the situation like this....this will help other parents facing the same situation.... This is the platform I am giving you...feel free to share your ideas on the same matter and wt you have done to resolve it..

Thanks..
Sushil

A slight Introduction...

Hi everyone,
This is Sushil from Maharashtra(India). I am preparing for competitive exams..I have completed post graduation in Physics. I have worked as a lecturer at Government poly technic and also for private tutions for 11th and 12th std. students...
      The purpose of creating this blog is to guide the "PARENTS" about "How to nurture their Young ones?!!"...
       Here I will discuss some of the trivial problems parents facing, specially in Indian society, where the parent and pupil relations are not so healthy...I want to clear that this is not the case in every Indian family. There are families who really share a beautiful relationship with their children...
              Your valuable comments will encourage me and other readers of this blog...plz share your views and experiences...so that we all can build a good family and a good nation as well.

Thank you.
Regards..